Well bloggy… I'm not sure if my life got worse or it's about to get better.  My job sent me home.  I sent an e-mail to a coworker saying I couldn't assist with something, and that if they limited their smoke breaks to two a day they would have ample time to solve the problem for themselves.  Actually I sent it to two people who make up the department.  The general manager kind of has it in for me because I went around him when I never got a response on my request for tuition reimbursement.  That and I think he wants to poke the lady that I sent it to.  Althought he's kinda of poking the head of the accounting department.... while he's still married.  I was told to go home until I apologize, and is said, "you don't want me coming in tomorrow?" and they said don't come back until you apologize.  I said I wasn't going to apologize and left.  So… do I have a job there anymore or not?  Unfortunately it was a coworker's birthday that day, and he was told to stay an hour later by my supervisor who sent me home.  My supervisor is salaried, but he only works around 32-35 hours a week and couldn't stay that late.  So he was late getting home for a birthday dinner.  I was really, really, upset about the whole thing.  I checked my blood pressure and it was 227 over 117 or something crazy so I laid down and it went down to 178 over 118.  Then I thought to myself, what are the things I need in life and what are the things I want in life.  Money was on both of those lists, but interesting as I listed the things in my mind my cheesy job wasn't one of them.  Then I thought, this could be an opportunity.  It could motivate me to get a better job.  Of course my family is unsupportive.  It's like they are ashamed that I might get fired from my shitty job, where the bi-polar sociopath that runs it has it in for me.  At my core, I am kind of an asshole.  I know this.  Events in my life have made me a bigger one.  Certainly, my depression has made it worse as well.  Basically, I'm pretty abrasive.  Where I work management likes to send people home when they have been naughty.  I think what's bad is I have worked there for two years and they didn't ask or even care to hear my side of the story.  That is what tells me the boss has it in for me.  Plus he's totally inept, and he probably knows I think he is totally inept because I have a big mouth that gets me into trouble.  Such as life.  I'm the only one there with a fucking bachelor's degree in business that works there so that's great.  Knowing the company I work for, they will call me in for some stupid meeting and want me to sign some stupid paper that is not based on any facts.  I can either tell them to roll the piece of paper and shove it up their ass or I can suck it up.  I think apologizing is out of the question.  The most I can offer is perhaps to work on having a better attitude, and not give up on solving a problem after being e-mailed four times about it and talking to my boss twice about it.  I should have continued to bother my incompetent supervisor until he gave me some direction and just not responded to the e-mails.  In any event, the way I have been feeling lately I just tell myself that it's lucky I am still alive.  That's what the most important thing is.  I'm alive, and I am free.  Dying of a stroke over some hourly wage job would be a pathetic way to go.  I'm alive and I'm a hell of a lot smarter than the idiots I work for, and really that's not saying much. 

Well its late, I am going to end with some quotes I like.    

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true were really true,
there would be little hope of advance.
Orville Wright

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Chinese Proverb

Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.
Leo Tolstoy

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Albert Einstein