Saturday, September 20, 2008
Starbucks alone

It's Saturday night and I am at a Strabucks alone, after eating dinner alone. I've become the most antisocial person I know. That was suppose to be a joke. In an effort to socialize I went into a chat room and chatted with a computer programmer from Spokane that also has a boat last night at like 2 am A sorta cute guy just came into Starbucks with a backpack on. He's a little young, looks maybe 20 to 22. There is something about guys with backpacks, it's like they are ready to go. Back when I had a place of my own it was like they were ready to go back to my place. I don't know, I wonder what is in his backpack. I've forgotten how to socialize anymore, there was a time when I would have said hi to the guy, but thats no more. I like guys who aren't hot in the traditional sense, he's not hot in the traditional sense. My god he just sat down in the overstuffed chair next to me. He asked if I minded if he sat there then pulls out a nice laptop, so I complemented him on his laptop and we had a conversation. My god I don't know how to interact with people any more. He's a programmer from Seattle working at the hospital. I misjudged his age, I would guess him to be more like 24 now. He's not cute, but then he is. He's listening to his little MP3 player, I bet it would freak him out if he knew I was writing a whole fucking page about him. Anyways he seems nice, maybe he's gay maybe he's not. Maybe he’ll marry, maybe he won’t, may he’ll have children,maybe he won’t, maybe he’ll divorce at 40, maybe he'll dance the funky chicken on his 75th wedding anniversary... sorry I got lost in song lyrics there. Yup, he totally does it for me. I bet he has a hotel room within walking distance of here. I wonder why I am attracted to computer programmers. God I have this pain behind my eye, I am taking antibiotics for what I thougth was a sinus infection but christ I shouldn't be having pain behind my eye like this. I tend to jump from one topic to another, I guess typing like this is like talking to oneself. What do you do when you are really really lonely, you talk to yourself but if people here you they think you are crazy. But if you are in Starbucks typing away at 60 or so words a minute they just think you are working on something important and are smart. But this is important, it's important that I write about random computer programmer guy sitting next to me. It's important that I talk to myself. He's got thin hair, I don't like thin hair. Okay my age estimate has just gone up, of course the older he is with no wedding ring the bigger chance he's gay. My friend Celeste isn't returning my calls, my one gay friend moved 60 miles away and I seem to be only text message worthy to him. This funny looking little kid just walked by... damn his parents need to feed him, the kid looks like he's starving. I don't know why but that kid looks fucking hilarious, but seriously he's 3 and a half feet tall and looks like he weighs 25lbs. It's so uncomfortable trying to type on my lap like this. I should just hit on consultant boy. He's got little cuffs on his jeans....I wonder if he goes to the hospital IT department looking like that. Then Sandpoint is pretty lax, I think many companies have realized requiring employees that don't meet with customers to dress in slacks, a button up shirt and ties is dumb. You end up getting a bunch of really shitty dressed people in see through dress shirts that technically meet the dress code requirement. The worst case scenario he's straight, and those cuffed jeans make me wonder. I'm getting skater turned geek vibe from him. I wonder if he's interested in an out of shape man who makes ¼ of what he makes and who has a really negative view of life and the entire justice system of a state out to get him. Thankfully I have a charming personality and am the life of every party. My boss is cool, I talked to him on the phone today. He was talking all about fluid dynamics and boat design. It's good that he continues to learn. Well I guess I don't have much more to say. I think geek boy is straight, I haven't talked to him again and I kind of just brushed him off after our short conversation of Windows vs. XP. If I was smart, I would have offered to burn a copy of XP media for him. I'm not sure if it violate the license agreement but he has a license on the bottom of the laptop. Maybe he's listening to gay techno music thinking to himself there is no one gay in this town right now and wondering about me, wouldn't that be funny.


Posted at 11:13 pm by Unforgiven

 

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I have no idea what to put here so I guess I will just talk about me. Lets see, I am in my mid 20's. I'm gay, and I am not too happy about that. I have a pretty negative attitude towards a lot of things. I wanted to have an online blog to kind of journal my days I guess. I think writing down your thoughts and feelings or even just what you did with your day is a good thing. I guess that is it for now.


I thought I would add some of my interests:

I love movies and watch a lot of films.
Computers are cool but if you do it for work it ruins it
Cute & sweet guys
I've always wanted to get my pilots license
Listening to music is fun but I have to be doing something else too
I want a sailboat and I want to live on it and sail around, drink red wine, and not work
Using the wireless internet at Starbucks late at night.

DISCLAIMER
I don't want anyone reporting me as being crazy or if I say in here I want to kill someone so..... everything in here is a work of fiction and has no relation to real life events. Any relation to real events is purely coincidental and all characters herein are portrayed by adults.
One more thing, unforgiven is from dub the unforgiven, a Metallica song I used to like. It doesn't imply I feel I need to be forgiven, if anything it implies I have a difficult time forgiving people. If you are going through hell, keep going.....


   





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