Well life really does suck.  I am still putting lumber in the back of peoples pickups for a living.  I'm still living at my folks house.  I still have no social life.  As I am typing this my mom is explaining to my grandmother how to use the bathroom, which is right next door which is why I hear it.  I think she's shit her pants again.  She's talking to chairs and walls more often.  I think if I was like that I'd put a gun to my head and end it.  I've talked to my psychologist over the phone a couple times since I have moved here.  He's pretty much told me to set goals, etc.  Pretend I am not depressed since acting as if I am not will help lead to me not being.  The class I am taking is a real bitch.  He keeps assigning these really difficult Excel projects.  Fuck Excel, I hate it now.  I think working in retail has given me a negative attitude towards people.  I'm really tired tonight and its about nine.  My brother called from Iraq at around 3Am.  My mom won't tell him not to call in the middle of the night.  I wonder who pays the bills on the sat phone.  I bet he's wishing like crazy he never joined the Marine reserves.  What a fucking joke, we're in some country trying to fix it when there are so many problems in our own country.  A guy at work got a DUI last night, I guess his parents bailed him out.  It didn't stop him from driving to work today.  He thinks he will get community service and a fine.  I don't think he grasps the ramifications.  I bet he loses his job over it.  They won't let him get a commercial license to drive the delivery truck and I bet they don't let him drive the forklift.  If he has to spend a week in jail they will fire him.  They are going to screw him royally I am sure.  I don't see him getting any breaks, and maybe he doesn't deserve any.  He's 19 and Mexican and lives in this redneck town so they will really stick it to him.  I feel sorry for the poor kid.  I wish I lived closer to Florida because I am sure I could buy a great boat for cheap right now.  One with some damage from Ivan that I could fix.  I wish I had a retirement income or something.  I think I would love to just sail around and do nothing with my life.  Well nothing but relax and keep the boat looking great.  I'm a lot less stressed now than I have been in months.  I guess one of the advantages of having a job I hate is having a job I don't stress over.  Well I guess that is it for tonight.