Well I graduated from college with a bachelors.  I'm amazed that I am finished.  It feels weird not having homework due.  I haven't written much lately.  I'm in the middle of a serious depressive state.  I went to the doctor, and now a counselor. I just feel this sadnesss... and hate and rage and I feel anxious.  I miss feeling love, it's been so long since I felt that.  I miss happiness, I miss kissing, holding hands, caring about someone, loving someone.  I feel like my hope is running out.  I no longer appreciate the beauty in my drive to work every morning.  Instead I just dread wasting another day of my life in exchange for peanuts.  I don't feel like carrying on anymore.  I'm cold, I'm tired... I just want to lay down and die peacefully.  Maybe this descent will end.  Maybe it'll be the kicking and screaming at the end that will allow me to pull myself out of this.